Trying to make sense of it all was where it all began.
With questions about the right way to parent haunting my space. I felt consumed by it all over whelmed with the lack of freedom I felt in this bubble.
A target of societies expectations with social media being the prime suspect for all my comparisons.
My mind had been filtered of all it’s natural abilities to form decisions based on personal experience and lifestyle. I was unable to trust my instincts my instincts that had previously been such a strong force behind the choices I made.
I was powerless and secretly disowning my mind replacing it with fact sheets I had memorised from online motherhood groups. I was no longer living in my world, the world that I was previously ok with.
This is when I decided to resign from my online life, just for a short time to allow myself some space and time to feel complete again. The time spent away from my computer screen was not all dark and victorian as one would imagine – I did in fact still use my twitter account to post pictures of my lost cat and facebook was used to stare at through boring moments.
I stopped going on online support groups for mums I stopped comparing my child’s sleep patterns to these strangers. I stopped convincing myself the decision I made to be a stay-at-home mum was the wrong one and I am not as good as other mums who juggle everything. I stopped listening to people who told me my son should sleep in his own bed at his age. I finally stopped seeing other parent’s life as the right way to live – they just lead a different life to my little family but that’s ok.
Finally I can breathe. I can hear my instinct tapping in. I know my son I know he needs a 2 hour nap because although he is nearly three that’s what HE does because it makes him happy and that makes me happy.
I know other people have great night time routines with children in bed at the same time each night tucked up in their own beds. And honestly that is wonderful but my son is different he likes my bed and I am ok with that.
Other mums work hard to provide for their children and have to send their little one’s to nursery. That is a choice you have had to make a path different to mine.
Some mums are doing it alone and may need help financially – that is their individual circumstance.
Just because your child was potty trained shortly after birth it doesn’t mean this is the case for others just remember that.
And finally we may do things differently but as mum’s we all gave birth, we have all had to wipe stinky bottoms, we all know how to juggle, we all secretly enjoy alone time and we all have little people who may not always show it but adore us for being mum.