Meltdown Monday’s

Sunday leaves behind a sort of reminder that it did actually happen regardless of how far away the weekend already feels. Several mugs and tea cups collect in the corners of my house highlighting Sunday afternoon activities! 

Other than simple reminders of the weekend I love so dearly, Monday has a great way of stomping on my parade with its big fat monday shoes. Waking up early as ever we prepare for our day I already feel stressed at the thought of Francis’s packed lunch, olives and pita with a healthy fruit selection or classic marmite sandwiches!? I then remind myself that he is 17 months old which means the complicating chore of me preparing a gourmet lunch to take to nursery will be wasted time as most of it ends up in little piles on the floor… unless of course its grapes he loves grapes. 

Right the lunches are tackled I feel smug with my perfectly prepared lunch yet also stupid for taking this much time. But there is reasoning in my morning prep as I still haven’t quite grasped the extreme guilt feeling I have when leaving Francis at nursery, I over compensate on lunches and treats in hope that he wont hate me for leaving him.

So not only are monday’s hideous because the weekend becomes a distant memory it is the day I am left feeling empty and guilt ridden.

Most of the time he enjoys playing with others and getting stuck in with all the activities but other times he looks at me with those big blue heart melting eyes and I know that when my back turns to leave through the door he will sob – which breaks my heart because I should be there to comfort him.

 

Parenting leaves me guilt ridden most of the time because I am aiming so high that I guilt trip myself if I don’t reach my own silly expectations. I am now learning to go easy on myself and remind myself that I am doing fine – as is Francis

we are fine

and the monday blues will be forgotten just like sunday.   

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